Most political systems worldwide seek to keep their people in a state of continual enragement. Tyrants blame what’s wrong on everyone else. I’ve never seen footage of Adolf Hitler speaking publicly when he wasn’t angry.
Why is there so much agitation in our world? You’d think we’d get smarter after so many millennia.
Read the following and tell me we wouldn’t be better off if there were more of this:
1. Listen more than you speak.
2. Allow your actions to be the witness to your growth.
3. Don’t speak ill of yourself, even in your thoughts.
4. Don’t be ungrateful.
5. Don’t be a glutton.
6. Avoid complaining for a happier life.
7. Believe that your power to make choices is confined to the present.
Notice that these admonitions don’t say, “Never speak” or “Never complain,” because there are times when speaking and complaining are necessary. These seven prescriptions are applications of the four fundamental tenants of Stoicism, which are:
Wisdom
Courage
Justice
Temperance
I hope you agree with me that these would help improve our lives. Plato recognized these ethics as the four cardinal (greatest; fundamental) virtues.
It is much easier to do something too much or too little than to act and believe moderately. Being temperate (that is, under healthy control) requires judgment. Judgment comes from a great deal of experience over many years.
Why aren’t these principles taught anywhere?
I hear all the time that we should be kind. What does kind mean? Let people have their way? Give them money? Nowadays, if you resist any idea, you’re classified as judgmental, hateful, and unhinged.
Instead, if we truly loved people, wouldn’t we treat people with wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance? We accomplish this by continually practicing these principles over time until we have gained sufficient wisdom to exercise them healthily.
Listen more than you speak
Craftsmen and construction workers have an adage: “Measure twice and cut once.” The same truth applies to speaking.
When you have remained silent in the midst of a tense conversation with several people, and one of them asks you what you think, that is the moment your point can have the most effectiveness. This is because:
You are being asked for your input.
You have allowed yourself the maximum amount of time to ponder the issue.
When you make your point, use as few words as you can.
It is equally powerful to answer with, “I don’t know.” That response causes each member of the group to ask silently if he or she knows the answer, which may have a calming effect on the group.
This brings up the concept of “assertion.” Assertion means communicating your feelings and beliefs directly and honestly without worsening the situation. Demonstrating healthy assertion is extremely difficult to do in emotional situations.
Watch the following famous footage of Ronald Reagan in a political debate in 1980. When he says, “I am paying for this microphone,” he’s referring to the taxes he’s paid as a citizen (he was not yet president). Even though he was frustrated, he asserted himself without name-calling or belittling. His statement was a turning point in his political career.
Allow your actions to be the witness to your growth
Wouldn’t it be nice if people stood by you solely because of your actions? Most people aren’t comfortable with showboating themselves, which hesitancy is admirable.
I know nothing personal about Noah or Abraham Lincoln, but I honor them based on their accomplishments.
I know people who speak few words, but when they do, they’re powerful to me. I aspire to be that way.
If society continues to applaud the inciters, it will be increasingly difficult for the rest of us to remain thoughtful, reasoned, and respectful. We will require greater trust in the testaments of our actions.
Don’t speak ill of yourself, even in your thoughts
Most people don’t realize that the human brain is a physical object consisting of trillions of interconnecting wires. Every brain cell contains thousands of synapses that connect to thousands of nearby cells. Every thought, action, whim, choice, and desire adjusts those physical connections. Everything you do, down to the most fleeting thought or action, trains your brain to do that thought or action easier and more effectively.
For example, when you swear, you train your brain to swear more easily. When you become unraveled, you train your brain to unravel you more easily. When you smile, you train your brain to make you smile more easily.
Emotional habits (anger, happiness, patience, rage, etc.) are just as much habits as are smoking and gambling.
The cure for your habits, emotional or physical, is to do them less often. There is nothing better to do than to turn your mind away from your bad habits.
This includes speaking ill of yourself. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between hearing a message from someone else or from you.
Thinking about something has the same effect on the brain as doing something. The Biblical adage, “As a man thinketh, so is he” (Proverbs 23:6), is physiologically true.
Don’t be ungrateful
It isn’t possible to be happy about something you’re not grateful for.
People often say that the opposite of gratitude is ingratitude. This isn’t true because ingratitude is simply a lack of gratitude. Everyone understands that the opposite of love is not “not-loving.” The opposite of love is hate. So, what is the opposite of gratitude?
The opposite of gratitude is resentment. Resentment destroys relationships and is a barrier to forgiveness. Feeling resentment toward anyone should be a strong warning that you are harming yourself.
Eliminating resentment isn’t easy. The four tenets of stoicism may take years of your life to master. That doesn’t mean your life won’t improve immeasurably while working on mastering them.
If you want to be happy, you must be grateful. Strive to be thankful for as many things as you can.
“People are not disturbed by things,
but by the view they take of them.”
--Epictetus
Don’t be a glutton
Overeating, overbuying, oversleeping, or over-anything is a substitute for happiness. A mature person manifests moderation in thought and behavior.
Most people don’t realize that emotions are habit-forming. You can be habitually happy or grateful as strongly as you can be habitually angry.
Courage gives us the will to moderate ourselves between the gluttonous excesses of recklessness and cowardice.
Avoid complaining for a happier life
Complaining is also a habit. Interestingly, the sixth precept listed above doesn’t say, “Never complain for a happier life.” The question is, when is it appropriate to complain?
Complaining is good and even productive when,
You offer a solution, and
You’re willing to act.
I use this precept in discussions with my supervisor at work. I’ll say, “I have noticed a problem and wish to present an idea to improve the situation.”
Sometimes, I wish management would tell me, “You are an exemplary employee. You’d be an even better one if...”
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Complaining becomes a repeating cycle that
teaches us we’re not in control
of our circumstances.
Society is increasingly preaching that the conditions of our lives and our happiness are a result of other people around us, the economy, or other factors. This hands over the power in our lives to our political authorities. Is this what you want?
Know that your power to make choices is confined to the present
It goes without saying that we cannot change the past. The only way to affect the future is to change the present. All the power you hold in your life is in the present. Your future lies in what you do today.
The first step in this process is to decide what you want. People often don’t know what they want. People will say they want to be healthier but don’t eat better or exercise more. You say to yourself, “I don’t want to eat better or exercise more.” That’s fine. The point is you will get what you really want.
As you improve your character, it will become easier to improve further because you will enjoy increasing confidence in your ability to manage yourself.
“If a man knows not which port he sails,
no wind is favorable.”
--Seneca
The four sins of stoicism
The opposite of stoicism is manifested by committing the four sins of stoicism, which are:
Foolishness
Cowardice
Injustice
Intemperance
Would you prefer the people around you to abide by the four virtues of stoicism or its four sins?
Summary
I believe that all seven precepts can be reduced to one word: Moderation. Moderation requires maturity and wisdom. Emotionally healthy adults will naturally adhere to these seven precepts.
I want to be one of those people, and I hope you do, too.
“How long are you going to wait
before you demand the best of yourself?”
--Epictetus
I promise that if you strive to adhere to these seven concepts, you will become calmer, more resolute, and more effective in dealing with the challenges in your life. You will become a stronger and more reliable person whom people will look up to.
Absolutely, the personal practice of Wisdom, Courage, Justice and Temperance likely would improve one's life. It's funny though, there is an aspect to I guess classical Stoicism that has drawn the criticism of notable figures such as Anton Chekhov and G.K. Chesterton. In Ward. No. 6 Chekhov's character Ivan Dmitritch says about Stoics that "...their doctrine crystallized two thousand years ago and has not advanced, and will not advance, an inch forward, since it is not practical or living. It had a success only with the minority which spends its life in savouring all sorts of theories and ruminating over them; the majority did not understand it. A doctrine which advocates indifference to wealth and to the comforts of life,…